Since Barak Obama was inaugurated as the 44th President and first black man in the white house there is once again hope in the hearts of every person in this country. Finally we have someone in office who is considered part of the minority and has directly experienced discrimination growing up with the rest of us in the working middle class. This gives us a leader with perspective and makes the possibilities for our country are endless..I know that this is what Martin Luther King was really dreaming of when he spoke at the Million Man March in 1963.
The public continues to sit and watch his actions waiting for more progressive changes to take place right before their eyes. This kind of expectation and collective pressure would drive any man to flee the very country that loves him so. Who can satisfy the desire for peace, equity, and justice from the decades of disappointment created by so many other men and their offspring?.........
hmmm.... am I talking about the history of politics in America or the history of motherhood and traumatized women in this country? (Women didn't get the right to vote until almost 100 years after black men... considering we use to have black men as our slaves it shows how much we value and respect women.)
Supreme Court Justice David Souter announced he will retiring in June and it is the President's responsibility for nominating his replacement.....The topic on everyone's tongue is surrounding the issue and protection of roe vs. wade... the freedom of choice vs. right to life. The Supreme Court has so much power and influence on society and on deciding what is considered right and wrong in our culture. Every situation and decision is circumstantial and more complicated than having just one answer to the question to be or not to be,,, guilty that is. The high rate of individuals fighting for money and power often gets overlooked when dealing any controversial topic relating to life, love and the pursuit of happiness.
What is more controversial than sex, murder, and the afterlife???
Yes...I am referring to abortion... although I don't believe it is murder but I do acknowledge that in some people's rearview mirror they look past the red light they ran just to dodge the authorities' judgement.
Before having intercourse you should always have the "what if" conversation. For example I would never date or have sex with someone that is anti-choice...not that it matters because the law says that I kill the fetus even if the father of the fetus does not want me to ..(poor guy)
Is that morally fair? just because we give birth doesn't mean we have to be responsible for the rest of the 18 years... how come we are not considering the man's feelings and the affects it will have on his life either...? you reply,, because it is the Woman's body and the Woman's choice..she is the one who has to go through the pregnancy and she the one who has to go through the abortion...if she is spiritual or religious she considers it a sin it becomes her sin and she is the one that will be eternally guilty...
In this realm pregnancy affects all people involved and if we are ever going to evolve we need consider all people equally. I can't tell you how many times the men we love so much get trapped into being a parent even though they took all the pre-cautions and had all the conversations before sex even took place.
"A Woman's body a Woman's choice" If it is the woman who is responsible and accountable for her choices and she chooses to keep the child despite the fact the man never wanted and still does not want to be a father or pay for a child.....is it fair that the court makes the man pay for the very pregnancy that he tried to prevent... not only that but he is suppose to pay an amount of money based on the woman's standard of living; depending on the amount of money he earns or has inherited the amount is unrelated to the actual cost of the child's supplies - and remember... there is no bargain hunting allowed in the courtroom!!
What about a man who has to pay child support for a child he doesn't even get to see or have a relationship with??? is it fair that the man pays money that ends up going to the woman's entertainment, luxury, overpiced clothes, alcohol and whatever she uses the money for.
OOPS.... I probably just pissed off the President and all members of the National Organization for Women - let me just say that there are in fact many circumstances where I believe parents should pay child support, for example my sister and I were both planned pregnancies and when my mom and dad got divorced my dad took full custody and care of my sister and I and my mom never paid child support once and I still think she owes us money to this day.
At the very least the court should demand monthly receipts and proof that the amount given is the amount spent on the child and if there is money left over that is less money the man needs to pay the next month.
We all know that everyone is entitled to a fair trial...but is the process of trial and the laws themselves that fair.? ... that is a whole different conversation but what I am trying to get at is how we too often award someone for continuing a pregnancy even if that means that it goes against what the lovers agreed on in the beginning. We also award the women who are often times using the child or the pregnancy as a way of trying to get back together with or control the life of the man that she cannot have. Sometimes the woman is trying to fill the void in her life and she doesn't want to accept responsibility for her choice and cannot handle the consequences of her decision.. We have to look at every case specifically with mediators and social workers before it even goes to the courtroom.
I am a woman and know that this decision is not easy because there is such a wonderful potential that occurs in the minds and hearts of the women and men that cross this path. The world would never procreate if there wasn't a powerful chemical desire to conceive and continue pregnancies once they are discovered. Women who support abortion and agree to an abortion before hand sometimes change their mind once they become pregnant and reality sets in. What about the men? Where does that leave them... there also have been times where men have changed their mind about having a baby after it is already conceived... what happens in that situation?
I worked in the recovery room with women post op. recovering from abortions and even though this procedure makes life a little easier for both parties the affects it has on the woman can be forever traumatizing. I use to write down the sentences of the women as they would come out of the procedure. Here are a few quotes from different women, "I knew exactly when the fetus was dead" "I will never forget the sound of that machine" "What if that was my last chance to have a baby" "If I ask will God will he ever forgive me" "do you think I made a mistake?" "why did he (her husband) have to change his mind" "Maybe I will see the spirit again when I die, I hope it won't be mad" ..I am planning to pull all the sentences together into the form of a poem... hopefully I will be able to read it in public without sobbing... maybe one day I will add in my own sentence, maybe not.
Men have it easier than women in so many ways....we all know that; but it is time to look at these laws that turn good men into criminals... those laws were set in place from one particular court case and does not mean they apply to all situations..most times it takes the power away from men who just want the same thing we all want, respect, fairness, honesty, and understanding. What if the tables are turned and men are the ones who got pregnant .. ..would we feel the same way about abortion, paying child support.. love and life itself is complicated and traumatic enough all we can do is try and make it easy for both people whatever the decision. If you are dealing with a pregnancy or planning to have a child you have to be honest with yourself and with your partner. You know the difference between right and wrong...
Generations of children are part the polluted environment only to procreate on accident during their attempts to heal the pain that was created not only by those that brought them into this world but also by the very people they run to hold them in the night.
For the record I have always been pro-choice and have worked diligently for many years assisting in abortions and counseling women about their pregnancy options always supporting the right to choose. I remember when I was so little I wasn't even in kindergarden yet, I was visiting my mom and she worked the overnight shift at a hospital. When she picked me up from my babysitter we rode in her truck as she started to cry. I kept asking her what was wrong and telling her it was ok and she could tell me. She cried and cried as she stared at the road as she kept driving. She then turned and looked at me, she begged me to promise her that when I grew up I would work to protect a woman's right to have an abortion. She told me what an abortion was and then told me that during the nightshift she had a young 16 year old girl come into the emergency room and bled to death on the table right in front of her. The girl's boyfriend had used a bent coat-hanger to try and kill the baby that she had in her body. He was clumsy and he went too far, since everything he did with the coat-hanger was hurting her the same amount and she trusted her boyfriend she didn't speak up. I will never forget that night, that was the first time I ever saw my mom scared, I saw her as a person and not a super-hero. I told my mother not to cry anymore and when i grew up I would learn to give abortions myself and make sure girls would always be happy safe.
Just as important as protecting the right to choose for women we also have to protect the the finances of those at risk. What will be the life choices of the Obama girl's, will their husbands or boyfriends try to get money out of them and take custody of their children just for child support?